can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
