I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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