I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
