i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
