Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
They are going to name an STD after you.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
