So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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