K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
