Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
