I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
