Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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