I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
