I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
pop tarts are not kleenex
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize