then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize