Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I just forgot I was standing up.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
