You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
