My liver just broke up with me...
Duck Duck Cougar?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize