i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
