some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
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