Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
