"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
