babies were throwing up all over the place
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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