I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
