tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
