I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
