we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I think your dad took our porno
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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