So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
