i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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