Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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