if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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