lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
