I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
