had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
