i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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