3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
