So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
