Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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