Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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