I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm gonna fight the coyote
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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