God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
