that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
