I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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