You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
