Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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