I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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