I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
