I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
