if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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