Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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