Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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