his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
