i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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