is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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