pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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