Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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