What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize