Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Well I just put wine in my tea
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
