the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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