My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
