he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
