do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
