your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
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