Who wears a wallet chain?!
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
