do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Only a mothe r could love this liver
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
